you can spout all the statistics you want but last week a couple teenagers were in the same vicinity as me. dont tell me crime is down

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  1. This reminds me of the time I boarded the double doors on a bus, and the crusty old guy on the OTHER side swatted my arm as I got in and hissed "Don't go so fast!". He was really mad about it.

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  2. I saw a pack of teenage girls all on e-bikes yesterday. Yes, they were obeying all traffic laws and even wearing helmets, but still, I FELT terrified so I went home and watched Fox and cried loudly for hours and hours and hours.

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  3. Statically, crime is down. But it's still everywhere. When we actively quit investing in educating our young people and cut off viable avenues for employment and let the cost of living blow up, we all contributed to this current situation.

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  4. Go to any Wisconsin town 50 miles or more distance from Milwaukee, and any older white person will tell you with absolute certainty that MKE is a Mad Max Hellscape and the crime wave is about to hit their little town of ‘good’ people any second.

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  5. “Sir, you were driving carpool.”

    “It was harrowing. They said U2, more like Poo2, with an ironic distance that mocked me while not taking any of it seriously.”

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  6. A mile down the road, in a neighborhood I walk through twice a day to get to the park, are "The Apartments." A bunch of the kids set up a lemonade stand last week there. You just know its a front for crime-ing and stuff.

    ALT: a baby girl in a pink tank top is smiling and says me when my sister tells a joke about me all of the time
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