First off, my suspension has ended. Got a little harsh with a post a few days ago but I didnโt have my feet on the ground and Iโm sorry if I offended anyone. Will try to be more chipper. Knock on wood!
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Lmao, what was said? ๐
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Just needed a little time to mulch it over.
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I'd bet real money that poster deserved it ๐
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I don't even know what I could say to get suspended. I'm pretty harsh myself at times, especially when it comes to Donica Lewinsky.
Oh, well. Welcome back!
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Bro being like...
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You dink! We need you
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The only reason they went after you was to try and make an example out of you, but since we're calloused from the current presidential administration, we know a BS dog and pony show when we see it. Just keep being you, Matthew (watching Sandman currently) and we will continue to support you. ๐ค๐ป
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Wood chipper goes brrrrrrr!
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Sometimes I catch myself before I post what I recognize will be a ban worthy comment and I will reflect that on social media in 2025, it donโt matterโฆ none of this matters. And Iโll discard and carry on.
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Ive lost count on how many times Ive been banned from the social media sites. I used to raise hell but now Im a nice boy.
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F em. Welcome back troublemaker.
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Keep offending the "fuck your feelings" crowd. They deserve it.
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Lookโฆbluesky has made it clear that anti wood chipper violence will not be tolerated. No woodchipper deserves a fate like that.
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We โค๏ธ you. Fuck โem if they canโt take a joke.
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Welcome back.
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I see what you did there
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HEHE
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Putting your best foot forward, good to see.
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Wait, people have gotten suspended on here? How have I not gotten suspended yet? JFHC, am I not trying hard enough? FFS ๐คฆโโ๏ธ Come on RasFrazzel get your head in the BlurSky game!
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Conducting a survey of slopbots as to what constitutes bluesky prison ink
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Back to the grind, eh? I was hoping you hadn't branched out to another platform. Good of you to jump back in feet first!
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Iโm commentb1000. @pattonoswalt.bsky.social
Be gentle on yourself. Weโre all human. We all make mistakes. We can all benefit from extending people grace.
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Okay now to the serious topic, when are you working on the next Ratatouille movie?
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Patton was...
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Lmao
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You rock.
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You're KNOCKING WOOD?
Seems a little violent, Patton.
Consider yourself reported.
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NGL - this first post back made me smile so wide the short hiatus was worth it ...
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๐๐๐
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Everyone needs to vent sometimes
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To shreds, you say?
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Im pleased you got called out. There was no mention of safety equipment like gloves and hi viz. Gotta set a good example advising on machinery
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Chipper? Fuck that! Flame on brother.
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Glad you are back! [Certain hypocritical outrage farmers, not so much].
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You certainly didn't offend me and I'm annoyed you were suspended.
Graaaar!!!
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Knock on wood... always before chipper so that any and all critters do not ride the temporary suspension of mulch wave. Ma Har is high!
- Harsh Hashish Harshis
Ma Har: Is she? Mulch to do about nothing!
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I wouldnโt say your post was harsh, Iโd say the suspension was harsh, if anything.
Especially considering the head of Trust and Safety did this in responseโฆ to a survivor of CSA.
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I got banned from Twitter for celebrating the continued presence of Pepsi in Russia with the sentence: "Pepsi offers a new taste: Blood of Ukrainian children."
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Social media has made all of us angry and frustrated at each other - when we should be angry and frustrated with powers above all our control. We get addicted to rage while others get wealthy off it.
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Iโve heard a lot of people, very intelligent people, say Megyn Kelly should go into the wood chipper feet first. I would never say that. Violence is bad. We should be peaceful. But a lot of people are coming to me, tears in their eyes, telling me sir, we should do the wood chipper thing.
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I honestly didn't take your comment literally. I took it to mean that by saying that, she metaphorically jumped into a wood chipper feet first. I mean she did destroy herself with that comment.
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Hey, it's the times we are in. Can relate. ๐
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Translation: โI regret nothingโ
(Nor should you, tbh)
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Good to see you logging back on.
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Be yourself ๐we need honesty
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Haha. Glad to see youโre back.
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By โa little harshโ Iโm assuming you called it as you saw it, and your inner Sam Kinison emerged and decided to take the situation in hand.
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Chipper... wood... Sorry, but this is just the way my mind works.
#Squirrel
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Just keep on being you. If once in a while you need to explode, just look at the times weโre living in. Itโs expected and excused.
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Welcome back, you were missed
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Welcome back, sir!
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saw what you did there
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Personally, I feel the last entity that should be playing the part of Daddy Police is a bulletin board.
1st, show me your credentials for that role.
2nd, you know the internet is infrastructure built with my money, and you're just making money off it, right?
Now tell me who the Daddy really is?
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Knock knock on wood, baby!
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I forgive you, Jesus.
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( โwelcome back, kotterโ theme begins playing )
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Glad to hear your suspension is over! Takes a lot to own up and apologize โ respect for that. We all have off days. Wishing you a fresh start and better vibes ahead. ๐โจ
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Welcome back.
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I'm offended that people were offended!
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Blue Sky suspended you? For?
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Love you!
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next time tell the little rat that lives in your hair to not fedpost
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I reposted that and had a few words to say about pancreatic cancer. Still up. Lol
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Happy to see you back!
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I gave it a โค๏ธ.
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Oh Blast~ Didnโt see your post.
I would have noticed your absence but I had to step back for over a week due to the fact that my hatred of Trump & the GOP was consuming me.
My feelings havenโt changed~ I just had to have that mental health break. ~~~~~ Welcome back, Patton๐ฉต
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Stay salty, my friend
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I think it was mulch ado about nothing
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Donโt worry too mulch about these things
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The POTUS SAโd children and is murdering people. Any words on here pale in comparison.
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I find it difficult to self-edit at times online (fallible Sapien over here), and navigating this current FUBAR socio-political climate feels extra hazardous since Jan. Iโve learned that Toxics, trolls, & cyberbullies donโt seek conversation โ they seek control. ๐ Be kind to yourself, fellow human.๏ฟผ
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Wood chipper?
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GFY!*
*kidding, my man.
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Snowflakes
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knock on wood chipper
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BLUESKY SUSPENDED YOU WHAT
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Wood?
Chipper?
You still seem a lil bit PO'd.
And I ain't talking initials here.
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Professional comedians get a pass from me. You are our truthsayers.
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Here is a very happy fox and a box of donuts to welcome you back.
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Glad you are back
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Patton, you're always gold in my book :3
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I get suspended every couple of months from one SM or another, for some benign comments that their software is too flawed to understand. Appealing is pointless.
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I was thrown off X for calling Candace Owen's "AUNTIE TOM" Bad as that?
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Donโt know what you said but we all need to be reeled in from time to time.
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Let the chips fall where they may.
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Hey Patton! I was at the Olympia WA standup show. You were so great!
โHow about you fucking sing about it?โ is something Iโll be using now!
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๐๐ป๐๐ป๐๐ป๐๐ป
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Good to see you delving back into bluesky, feet first
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The mistake was "wood chipper", instead of "fishing boat in the Caribbean", which is totally fine to say here, and act on.
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How much meg could a woodchipper chip if a woodchip could chip meg?
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I see what you did thereโฆ Wood chipper!
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It's automated, too many reports and zap you're locked out.
It will only get looked at by actual people when you appeal.
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Fargogate
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hey remember when you were friends with Nick Bougas
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Miss you humanity and humor during the grind.
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Oh I love what you did there
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they wanted to give you three days plus an excuse to write this banger.
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hah!
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Well thatโs what you get for spoiling del Toriโs Frankenstein ๐คฃ
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I still want ALL the ham.
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Wood chipper?
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Welcome back. Sorry, I would have chipped in to get you reinstated, but from the first, it seemed an impossible feat.
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I understand. I tend to have a short fuse as well.
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Slava Ukraini
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I think they were barking up the wrong tree with that suspension tbh !
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It was a nonsense suspension. Very glad youโre back.
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Meanwhile, Kelly is still free to spread her neutrality towards pedophiles.. ๐ก
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Patton!
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Wood chipper chipper?
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Attaboy! Stay chipper ๐ซ
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Sir, you inspired my username. You fuckin rock.
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missed the post, but glad the suspension's over!
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Welcome Back!
Itโs ok we like you just the way you are
Telling your truth is important too and so are your feelings about anything and how you choose to express them
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Now you're on my 'lists' ๐ฅโฅ๏ธ
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Fuckem if they canโt take a joke This does not apply to maga- they can fuck off no matter what.
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You're just a chip off the old block.
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Wood that it were so simple. (Glad you're back.)
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There you are!!! Welcome back.
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I've been there, done that and am STILL apparently an outlaw on Nextdoor two months later, so don't feel bad
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๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
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Totally post with it.
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Welcome back. You were great in Justified. That show was great.
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King shit
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Dive in feet first
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Damn it. I missed Dark Oswalt? Shit. If you want, you can DM me and I'll post the harsh stuff and I'm a nobody so no one will pay attention but you'll feel good getting it all out.
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Your cheese slid off the cracker, it happens. It's cool.
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I like that you sent out an apology but feel that it should not have been necessary unless self harm is suggested. Weโre all adults here and the children should go play elsewhere. Good luck on the chipper.
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lol
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Bluesky mods sweating rn trying to figure out if oblique references constitute a threat
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๐
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The fact that what you said was somehow more offensive then the post you were referencing, tells me we live in a broken world. Welcome back.
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We see what ya did there.
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Problem solving.
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How old is the wood?
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I thought we were talking about Home Improvement tools ....
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Yay!
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Wait, you? I'm sorry that happened to you๐๐
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It was not too harsh the mods are ridiculous and lack the capacity for recognizing humorous cultural references.
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eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh fuck 'em
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Just scrape it off. Itโs all good. ๐
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What if we are offended by Bskyโs moderators? Can we give them a timeout? Wooden that be chipper?
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Here's to your next suspension should it happen. May it be worth it sir! To that, I salute you!
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I friended you because I like anyone that gets challenged by the powers that be. I hope youโre no offended.
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Yay!!
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good to see you back, welcome
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Glad you're back
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I don't trust anybody who isn't flying off the handle a little right now.
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1:30 pm. Fargo, forest of wood The wood chipper. Chipper of wood as in would this hurt? The hurt that would. A hurt that continues therein. โMy feet are on the ground,โ the Comedian said. He always said that. โWood theoretical knocked on wood possible.โ I always said that. ~Olivia Nuzzi, probably
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lol
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No worries Patton. Keep being you.
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Perfect reintro, no notes
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We really missed you! The whole experience was kind of chopped up, you know, no flow. Messy.
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Good to have you back.
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Welcome back โค๏ธ! GO GET EM.
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Welcome back! ๐ฅณ๐ซถ๐ปโ๐ป
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Can you tell us why?
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No worries, you know, big media has to protect extremistโs delicate feelings voraciously- they canโt handle life or reality- glad you are back
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hope you were able to get some good yardwork in while you were offline!
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Please take your pick.
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Sometimes you just need to show people what you mean.
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Feet first, my brother. Feet first.
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Can you show the post that got you suspended? You know, sort of an educational post on what is not acceptable here?
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