Parents don't control the total outcome, but parents have a lot of influence. You seem to be shrugging off your responsibilities - did you say anything to your kid about it? I wonder if your co-parent feels the same way.

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Absolutely, parents should be the biggest influence, not shrugging anything off. I'm just pushing back against the judging of individuals/entire groups based on parenting. That seems like what conservatives would do. I would have hoped for more nuance and humility here.

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  1. Well you're coming off pretty declarative and defensive and seeming to shrug off the consequences to other people, so asking a Black woman for humility on a subject that affects her and all of us feels pretty gross.

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