When people are genuinely mystified by people of faith, the best explanation I can give is one I encountered as a teenager when I read "Jesus Rediscovered" by Malcolm Muggeridge, a socialist and atheist who became a Christian, because this was my experience of it as well. I offer excerpts here: /1
I'd be a lot more religious if "christians" stopped using their religion to justify plain evil actions or overweening ambition, "god told me I should be speaker of the house" or a bunch of school kids get shot and it's explained as "god's will" to justify the gun cult
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If you can't think about whether a deity exists because Mike Johnson is a hypocrite, that's very limiting on your part.