Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick theonion.com/man-kno...
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Me right now …got a job interview tomorrow as well 😂 every time
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(I hear that) if you have a kid, then you do, in fact, know exactly which little asshole got you sick. 😐
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Play with assholes don't be surprised if you find shit
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How many does he HAVE?
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Pink-eye?
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I wish I knew who gave me covid. I'd give them such a pink eye side eye.
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Literally everyday in internet
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Y'all might think it was the obvious, coughing peep, but 50-60% of Covid spreaders are asymptomatic. So it could have been whispering about your coughing colleague w/someone asymptomatic, did you in. Mask up in 95's at the very least, be pro-protective. Breatheteq.com before the tariffs hit again.
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That’s interesting. I didn’t know men had more than one asshole.
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this was me when my mom gave me covid in 2022 lol ill never let her live it down
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😂😂
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Assholes are notorious breeding grounds for fecal coliform
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Most people have just one asshole. How many does this guy have?
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That bites
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I had the same boy get me sick on Presidents Day weekend 3 years in a row.
I know this because he literally sneezed in my face the Monday before.
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To me that’s a very important part of healing. So I got something to blame.
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When I was in basic there was a guy who was like "if one of y'all give me COVID I'll kick your ass" and then he was the one who popped hot and got us all quarantined
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@cameron.pfiffer.org you two look like long-lost brothers
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On a serious note:
Y'all know the period during which airborne illness is transmissible usually predates the onset of symptoms by multiple days, right?
Y'all also know 'airborne' isn't a droplets thing, right?
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Import some tainted Mexican tap water. Montazumas revenge is a dish best served cold.
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That’s how people get giardia
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This is legit me at the gym, staring down the asshole who got me sick two years ago.
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Some diseases are really easy to tell who passes it to you. A flu could be anyone in the street, but things like some STDs for some people could only one a single person.
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Once I had a coworker coughing around me right before I went on vacation. I got sick and spent the whole vacation loaded on meds and cough syrup. It wasn't just a blur, gravity seemed to be fluctuating half the time in a not fun way.
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… just like when driving .. ya gotta see just wtf does that prick look like 👀.. He ALWAYS looks exactly like you thought he would 🙄 It used to be Volvo drivers .. now it’s Tesla drivers Same look tho . 😜 Just the same as the person that got you sick 😑
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Might be best to stop eating assholes all together
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It was fucking Kyle, I’m sure of it. The filthy fucker never washes his hands, and he touches everything. Kyle. I’m telling you.
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I know exactly who gave me covid the first time. I got sick almost exactly 1 week after he went home sick. But then the rest of my department got sick one week after that, so I can't really make too big a deal of it.
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I got Covid because a sick coworker sneezed directly on me. She thought she had a cold and snotted on me.
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His very own.
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It's going to be someone in my household, because I'm not foolhardy enough to share air with anyone else. #MaskUp
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Don't you look at me like that!
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Patty Dahm, probably
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Very satisfying to go back to work and say to my worker on the next desk, "Thanks for the COVID."
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RFK jr?
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A coworker once coughed in my direction and I felt the air hit my face. I was this onion man
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Should've wrapped his rascal.
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He is so lucky I have only been able to think I know
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I hate working in an office. You always know which dickhead came on duty when sick, and will give it to the rest of the building.
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Trump? It was probably Trump. Fuck that guy.
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The office kiss-ass with Stockholm Syndrome who thinks working while sick is noble. Looking at you, Jen.
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It’s always that dick who boasts about never having taken a day off…
