Man Relaxing His Overwhelming Anxiety For Just A Moment Finally Gives Pack Of Coyotes The Opening They Need theonion.com/man-rel...
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This isn't satire, it's the cartoon logic my brain uses to justify being constantly on edge at almost all times
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Hypervigilance can...be...your friend??
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AI
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I laughed way too hard at this. π
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the type of shit my anxiety comes up with in my mind
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I knew it.
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Shouldn't be funny, but it is. Just can't let your guard now days. Sigh.
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That is my life way too often π
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I'm rooting for the coyotes. Like George Carlin said the earth needs to shake us off like a bad case of fleas.
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omg too real onion π
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Sweet Karma: he was a MAHA anti-vax RFK adherent. His infected corpse poisoned all the coyotes who devoured him.
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The existential dread made him more tender.
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Guess there are places you canβt even relax for a sec π€·ββοΈ
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Coyotes, no prob. Wolves, prob.
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Exactly why I stay in hyper mode all day every day 24 7
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Not funny. Yeah, they'll make a meal of Fluffy but that's more on you than them.
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Omg what would I do without you?! Probably get eaten by a pack of coyotes π€£π€£π€£ seriously though
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This is not funny this really happened to my uncle
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Love this!
Chronic anxiety sucks.
Make sure you stretch or it becomes chronic tension in your 40s!
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Coyotes are our friends.
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Oh, wow. He didn't even get WOLVES? The economy is in shambles.
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Those coyotes are always waiting, watching....
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Dude, I live in Trump's America. You think a pack of bloodthirsty wild animals scares me anymore?
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Clearly, mental health is overrated
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A fable for our times.
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Join us
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Pass
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Ah, common, not the coyotes.
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That would work if coyotes hunted in packs
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Shouldβve said wolves. No oneβs a scared of βyotes.
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A coyote came to door "delivering a package." I almost fell for it.
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Th... thanks, Onion.
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And he was delicious.
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Good for them
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Iβve had a pack surround me in Sedona out running early one morning π. They are like big kittens β¦ they wouldnβt hurt a human.
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Running for years
Everyone: you're crazy, always so paranoid, nothings gonna happen
Me: maybe everyone is right, perhaps it's all slows down in my h- dies of the pack of coyotes that was chasing me
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That's EXACTLY what it feels like these days!
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I just ended up booping them all
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You better run, because they are hungry and about to strike.
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Haha
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thanks for the idea
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Just like a White tourist in DC. /s
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I should go hiking somewhere. I'll take my chances with the coyotes at this point if I can let some of this anxiety go.
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Holy shiish an onion article made just for me
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Pants off dance off !
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I'm scared of being chloroformed by a bigfoot so I will never let my guard down.
