Back in my day our parents tossed us out at daybreak and told us not to come back until sunset and had no idea what we got up to, why, one time, me and three of my buddies hiked out past the train tracks to see a dead body, I never had friends like the ones I had when I was twelve, Jesus does anyone

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(1) If you can track your kid, so can your ex.

(2) Someone so worried about their kid’s safety that they’d spend this much on shoe-tracking can definitely afford to move to a smaller, safer town.

(3) Put the shoe-tracking money in a college fund.

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