BREAKING: THE WEAPONIZED SANDWICH CONTAINED SALAMI
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At least it is not the most vile sandwich reference, from a despicable deceased 🇷🇺 imperialist "
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I thought the Geneva Convention outlawed salami in sandwich weapons decades ago?!
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A baloney sandwich seems to be more appropriate.
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Should’ve had extra bacon. 🥓
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I heard extra meat & heavy on the sauce!!!
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It’s the sandwiches. This never happens in countries that don’t have Subway shops.
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And here I thought it was all baloney
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Yes, true. It wasn't kosher!
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It’s all baloney!
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I can't wait for info from DOJ and WSJ to hear what else was on the sandwich. This regime managed to reach new levels of stupidity.
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This guy just really wanted to see how the sausage is made!
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🤣🤣🤣
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Does she realize how embarrassing she sounds?
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It was a fully-loaded semi-automatic sandwich.
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Yet Bondi responds with Bologna. All I want to know is...who cut the cheese! 🚬😎
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Well, it wasn't Hot Pastrami !
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He’s already been released.
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DC man accused of throwing sandwich at federal officer released from custody
Sean Dunn, accused of throwing a sandwich at a federal officer, is released on his own recognizance as the judge finds the felony charge excessive.
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Dershowitz would like a meetup with the sandwich guy. Will sandwich guy swipe right?
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Who could afford to throw away salami in this economy?
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LMFAO
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The sandwich heard round the world
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He should have beaten them with a flag pole that's a pardonable offense. Then he could get appointed to a cabinet position. Fuxk bondi
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Smart. Salami is one of the more substantial, weighty meats. Solid choice!! 😂
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😆
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I guess that’s why they needed to send a battalion of FBI agents to his home to arrest him and blast it on social media. Salami is absolutely an accelerant!
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The Salami stole the show, the red onions are not amused..
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Let’s make one thing absolutely right. Here is the fact that this guy needs the best representation that we can give him come on America we can do it.!
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Bologna would have been better
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Felony strength salami, no less.
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I'm so sorry that man lost his sandwich.
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I love that everybody’s making so much fun of this so fucking stupid and felony really
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Will that could make it heavier. How about the cucumber?
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An inside look at the suspect’s weapons manufacturing facility…
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He would not have been arrested if he had thrown a dildo instead.
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Sad, damn! Huge stain. -Sal Ami
We upon mass distraction.
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🥪🥪🥪
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Tsk, tsk, Assault with a Genoa will get you 18 months.
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The Felony Footlong
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What a bunch of ❄️ ❄️ ❄️. Someone got hit with a sandwich, and now crime is so bad that masked agents must come in to clean up homeless encampents.....the amount of sandwiches they must have! What threats! Meanwhile, let's not forget the Epstein files... This distraction must mean it's bad... 👽
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It was a Russian Sub and Putin was in it!
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Salami!! OMG 😱, what if the poor ICE kid would have gotten the spicy salami in his eyes? It could have killed him!
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The Single Lunchmeat Theory.
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Was it assaulted sandwich?
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No! Not salami! Somebody help us! Anybody…?
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That's the same thing Jared used to eat.
RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES!!!
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What a waste of a good sub.
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I’ll bet it wasn’t Hebrew National!
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In fairness, salami can be pretty sharp
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I relish these details.
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Cold uppercut
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How crazy is it that a sandwich is a news topic?? 🤦♀️
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Hilarious, maybe the salami had gone bad and that's why he was arrested!
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Not salami 😳😳😳🙄🤣
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MAGA Alpha male kryptonite turns out to be Salami. Does this mean we can stop ICE with cold cuts?
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I'm still waiting to hear if it was toasted. Let's have ALL the evidence!
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Sub Commander Sean has an affinity for charcuterie apparently!
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Oh, that changes everything.
(Note for those without a sense of humor, it changes nothing, I’m being silly, if you want to rage, just know I’m going to laugh at you.)
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Salami is the deadliest of the cold cuts
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Are the police going to reveal the sauce?
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Bondy, you’re disgusting
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Setting up a carnival booth where you throw faux subs at bottles adorned with masked faces.
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Salami: the deadliest of the deli meats.
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Can’t make this stuff up!!
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This gives me the vapors!!
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If you're going to throw a sandwich at least make it worthwhile and throw a Sloppy Joe or something equally as messy.
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The only way to stop a bad guy with a sandwich is a good guy with a sandwich 🥪
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Obviously a woke DEI sandwich.
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This story gets better and better.😆😆
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I wonder how long it will be before crowds start pelting ICE with sandwiches of all kinds?
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Oh no Salami !!!! Please don’t tell me it cheese too!
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I predict jury nullification if this goes that far.
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Proof the act was not pre-meditated. Protest subs contain only mustard.
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Salami is high in sodium, that’s what made it a-salt.
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Hoagie-Wan is my hero!!
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Hard or Genoa? The former could carry an additional five years in prison
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That seems to have led to this:
m.facebook.com/story.php?st...
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Throwing that? It must have been fulfilling.
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It was a Hoagie of mass destruction.
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Additional details heard on Daily Beans: The perp OUTRAN the cops AND ICE, and rumor has it he may be charged with 'assault with a deli weapon'.
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😂
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The sandwich was wrapped, even what a bunch of wimps
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How come no one has framed this as self defence?
Obviously the guy was scared of being mugged.
Mugger definitely wanted to steal his sandwich.
Or is this one of those situations where the crime is considered assault with a DELI weapon?
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😱
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Toasted not toasted ? Oil or no oil ? Salt n' pepper ? Italian or French bread? Here or to go? Cash or debit ? It was obviously not a $5buck foot long? So many questions!
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And apparently, salami is offensive? 🤣🤣🤣
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Alleged salami.
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Sham Bondi will be one of the most laughed characters in history. If I could throw a sandwich it would be my fav, a hotdog all the way (Southern style) with Cole slaw, chili, plenty of onions, mustard & & ketchup. Won't tell you what I would aim for, but for an old lady I throw pretty well.
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that sandwich died a hero.
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Give that man a cigar.
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ICE trooper's plate carriers will have to carry a Level 4 Subway certification
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Was it an alleged crime bc the alleged sandwich wasn't on white bread?
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Food fight!
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Hard salami, of course. Cotto salami is for "less lethal."
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I'm doubling up on prosciutto, just in case...
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Pay the officers SAG scale!
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So that's why a misdemeanor was upgraded to a felony, the use of HARD salami!
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Breaking: Judge hands down a verdict immediately.
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Smh 😂😂👍🏻
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Yes, but the court case might hinge on the condiments.
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He may have been frustrated & angry, but he's lost his livelihood & now has a record. He will suffer unlike someone else we know who is a felon. I hope some company calls him & offers him a good job.
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Was it Italian or kosher? Details please?
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Snap.
It was just a felony when presumed to be a fully loaded veggie, but the presence of meat...that could be the death penalty.
News at 11.
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Thank God that Subway doesn’t sell tacos!!!
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Yeah, I don't like salami either. I'd probably throw it too!
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God i want subway now
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Thought for sure it was all baloney.
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Hard?
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GQP goons shoot people with ARs and Dems throw sandwiches.
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Saw a headline about prosecutors seeking the death penalty and thought about this guy. How jaded am I
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“I was just minding my own business at Subway and then…wham!”
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PIRO: At first a misdemeanor assault charge seemed in line but after reviewing the footage. It’s clear he put “some mustard” on the throw.
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Did it have cherry relish on it? Americans have a right to know!
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But did it have "criminalized onion relish" ?
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Wonder if sandwiches are going to serve as metaphors the way the color & type of flowers used to be. “Salami” = smacking someone with your junk. Mortadella = a threat. Chicken = Republican. Turkey = Pete Hegseth. Subway could run a whole campaign, starting with TX & DC.
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The condiments died in darkness.
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Is Jeff Bezos afraid of Salami??🤣😆🤣
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It's Subway so it's barely even salami
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JFC this should be an article in The Onion. What a fucking joke.
They (Ice) are not even ashamed.
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Should be thankful it was just salami, could have been wurst
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Right, one sandwich attack and we're ready to ban sandwiches but a million shootings and we're at a loss on what to do?
I am very much looking forward to having sanity in control again. Impeach and remove Trump and vote out every last Republican in office to make this nightmare end!
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OMG, it was loaded with salami?! Oh, he went too far!
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Do they sell a salami sandwich?
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😆👏👏
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Assaulted by a floppy sandwich...
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Salami is clearly Italian. He should be charged with a hate crime too.
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I advocate tossing cookies at ICE. With chunks.
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'FEDERAL AGENT SLAIN WITH A SALAMI SANDWICH' Whilst Bondi adds a filler to justify death penalty and stir the maga faithful.
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Salami sandwiches are not usually weaponized until about 9 hours after you have eaten one.💨
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Wow, just like ICE agents, the gags are coming thick and fast.
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Obviously, it's an assault if you're a weak little shit. But apparently a 230Ib Ice agent flooring bystanders to the ground isn't. Er, why not?.
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Our president throws catsup.
Let the peasants throw mayo on bread.Somebody find our exactly what subway build this sandwich was - and let’s all go order the exact same and all eat a lunch in support!
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www.facebook.com/reel/7415147...
60K views · 6K reactions | August 15 Press Briefing with @Karoline Leavitt | Lisandra Vazquez
August 15 Press Briefing with @Karoline Leavitt.
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Throwing a sandwich: Felony
Violently attacking US Capitol, beating police: get a "get out of jail free" card and possibly a federal job
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People do tend to get a little upset when they get hit in the head with another man’s salami. Or not. Whatever floats your boat.
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Omg 😅 🤣 im dying here. This is how absurd it has all become- a sandwich felony.
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Can we please call this the Dagwood Incident?
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WE NEED TO KNOW.... WHAT TYPE OF BREAD!!!!
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It was a deli-berate attack.
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Doesn't that indicate aggravation?
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The condiments stained his gear!
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Rumor has it that he got the extra meat upgrade on his spicy Italian sub so that it was more impactful. He could have killed the agent with that. Bondi is going to increase the charges to double-secret felony. /s
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Man Charged: Assault With a Deadly Sandwich
In their efforts to take a bite out of crime, federal law enforcement officers arrested a man for exposing his salami when he threw a sandwich at them. Asked about the incident, an official said, “Lettuce be clear—we will not tolerate any act of assault.”
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I would have thrown a chicken taco ... because.
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I don't know whether to laugh, cry or pass the mustard!
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I'm guessing the Tangerine Tyrant was jealous of the size of the sliced.😆🤢
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Subway is subversion.
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I bet there was "spicy mayo" !
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I wonder if that officer will receive a Purple Jarod, you know, for being sandwich'd in the line of duty.
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So utterly ridiculous is this supposed to be a diversion? lol lol
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And it was HARD SALAMI- DRAMATICALLY INCREASING THE LETHALITY OF THE WEAPON.
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If there were jalapeños involved, it elevates the charge. We need to know.
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The police said it was thrown 'forcefully'. What is the legal definition of that word? Is it measured in velocity, such as 10f/ps? Did the police scientists subject the video to kinematic analysis?
Or were the police just trying to make a trivial and ridiculous incident seem life threatening?
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"Subway mystery meat meets federal mystery motives. More at 10:00."
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They buried the salami
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If it had been his favorite, ham, he wouldn't have pressed charges.
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No matter what, it was still an assault on a law enforcement officer, thus a felony. #You'reFired
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NO Bologna?!
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😂😂😂
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He did a pretty good runner!🏃
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Hahahaha!!!
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This reads like a Muppet News bit..!
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Will trump release Jarod The Subway Sandwich pedophile?
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What a pickle
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It was definitely loaded.
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it's the meat of the story
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But defecating in the capital is pardonable.
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But was there any grey poupon?
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What would happen if every protestor carried a concealed sub?
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Weapons of Mass Deliciousness.
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I heard it also had many slices of sharp cheddar cheese making it both a deadly weapon and a cause of constipation. No word yet as to whether he held the mayo.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsj8...
Ham on Five
YouTube video by Capt.Equinox
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What kind of salami? If Genoa, what a sin!
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I support throwing sandwiches at fascist Jack-booted thugs
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😂😂😂
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-- confirming Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy's concern that subway crime is rising.
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Outrageous! Could have really stung someone's eye - salami...
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“Make me your TNT special with extra shrapnel. No, I have enough salt and pepper. I’m well-seasoned, thankyouverymuch.”
