My mother used me as an emotional surrogate for my father--she thought Carrie and American Psycho were comedies. I was a quiet nerd who tried giving my 'secret' crush a giant backpack sized Teddy bear in the middle of 9th grade algebra.

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  1. They chased me down and pulled me over after school one day and made me walk to the car for a (loud) lecture because I was hauling ass down a main road. Told everyone else how proud they were of me, but nothing I ever did was good enough. I turned to video games and anime.

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