If you have any questions for someone, ask! :) You will get an answer to your question faster and even save time đ
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So much thisâŚif you have a question, ASK IT. I no longer entertain anyone who starts with a nothingburger intro.
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Getting messages that are just "Hi" or "Hello!" with nothing added also makes me so nervous due to past experience. I love love love answering simple questions from people who just want a bit of help, but I tend to not answer messages that don't ask/tell right away đ
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HEAR HEAR!!!!
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"No" is a perfectly valid response to "Can I ask you something."
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This is ancient netiquette!
Don't ask to ask, just ask
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Once a random guy on Discord messaged me to ask something and when I said sure out of curiosity he asked if there was anything he shouldnât ask or talk about??? I canât read your mind! If youâre going to ask something that might upset people maybe donât ask it! Communication is a learned skillâŚ
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Don't ask to ask, just ask
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gonna be real if you message me with 'hello' and we dont share any mutual groups/servers, I will block and report spam so fast, even if you have a furry profile pic. I get at least 3 of these a week from actual scammers, don't follow that pattern.
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I want to send this to everyone at work.
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Hey, I have a question. How the heck are ya?
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I remember getting a question or two on the lines of "Can I ask you something? It's really urgent." on DeviantArt without even TELLING me what's so urgent to begin with.
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actually the left option is more polite...
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I'm suddenly reminded of the dreaded "We need to talk, call me" email.
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In short no need to be shy, save time and be direct. Makes talking in questions more chill
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"Can I ask you a question?" One question per person and you just wasted it
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Any time a stranger asks "can I ask you something" in a DM that it's almost always that they want photos of me doing something with my feet
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Either I ignore you, or be blunt with "do you need anything from me?"
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When someone messages me pointless chatter:
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I wish I could pin this image in my Discord.
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It can get worse, a friend ask me if she could "form a pact" with me without context. It was just about a webcomic, but for the 10 minutes between responses I was wondering who she had killed and thinking of where to hide the body.
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I get it.
But I do feel rude just going right in with what I want.
This is often how I'll ask my friends if they want to hang out because I feel like I'm taking from them so I should at least start with pleasantries.
Then I want to give them time to respond so I'm hopefully not bothering them.
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I don't even say hello anymore, just ask what's the reason for the contact.
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"can I ask you something?" No.
If it was the kind of question that needed preface management, permission, or manipulation- I'm not interested in answering it.
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text is â¨asynchronous⨠communication. In-person & phone calls are synchronous.
Different format, different politeness - but we grow up only being taught the rules for synchronous.
Highlighting that what ppl already know to do isn't inherently wrong, but it's wrong in this context, could help.
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The nerve of some people who willingly waste their own time just to get free stuff they won't get.
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Have you posted this on Tumblr? I really need this on my blog there but I don't want to just take your graphic with your nice original art in it.
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This applies in the work world as well, donât chat me up just send me your question if I have a minute I promise Iâll answer it, if I donât ill get back to you later when I have time
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If some random furry just messages "hello" or "hi" there's a good chance I'm not even replying.
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Especially if you're messaging a new person. I get some random "Hi" from a stranger and I assume I'm about to scammed.
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"but isnt it more polite to say hi first" messages to strangers are mail. not always formal mail but it is mail. you do not want to open an email or an envelope that Just says "hi".
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If you put this tweet of of the context of those images attached to it, it sounds funny.
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I didn't even realize how weird my greetings were until now, oops!
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This is usually why I don't even respond to people who just say hi. I don't really have time or idle conversation.
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This is so important you would not believe.
You can differentiate yourself from spam and scammers this way.
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I want to send this to everyone at work.đ They say Hi, three days of small talk later (exaggeration) before they finally get to the question. Please no. Just ask!
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Ohh I hate that. At work I don't respond to hi, if you have a question just ask it straight away. đ
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Think its heavily worth also expressing the first one comes off like an art scammer and iâll never respond
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This goes for Discord DMs too! Otherwise folks may think you're a bot or hacked account!
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I HATE when colleagues start with messaging "how are you?" And nothing else. We both know damn well you want something from me. Just say it in the original message.
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đ
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The left panel is so annoying at work. Have a couple coworkers that always ask stuff like that, and itâs a chore.
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Putting the needed furry coat of paint over nohello.net
Thank you for your work soldier
no hello
please don't say just hello in chat
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Even worse when they immediately forget why they dm'd you and respond a week later... if at all đŤ
Thank you for making this, it's concise and polite and explains it very well â¤ď¸
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I used to admin for a modded Minecraft cluster and oh my God this is a big thing.
"Admin come here I have a problem"
"What is it?"
"Admin come here"
Their AE core blocks were red because they had two separate ones on the same network.
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Wow i need to save this and post it every time someone writes like this in teams
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As a ND, I used to ask this a lot, because I was conditioned to believe that the other person needed to approve of my question first, before I was permitted to ask it.
I acknowledge however, in retrospect, this is also a common manipulation tactic to "get one's foot in the door".
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Can I ask you a question about this?
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I made a point like this back in 2019 on the ex-birdsite and the amount of people who started to gaslight me and make me feel bad with "I guess I'm the worst person ever for just saying hello and trying to be polite" and EUGH those people suck. Hope your post gets a more positive reception!
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As things are, if the opening message doesn't state what business it is, I just assume it's a scam and ignore it.
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A rule: the longer the gap between the discussion of a question and the actual question the more the person being asked will be afraid.
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My manager does this! To be "polite". Grrr
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Also if you send just "Hi" my first assumption is you are a bot trying to scam.
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I have nohello.net in my bluesky profile and it has saved me from having to reply to a lot of private messages from people I don't know.
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Even worse are people who message you with no real purpose.
"hi""how r u"
That's not a conversation and I'll ignore you with speed and alacrity.
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sooooo, I have to answer the question fast?
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Very true!! I never ask "can i ask a question?" and don't put it with the asking, usually i'll just straight up say the question too "do you have commissions open!?" "when will your slots open up?" etc without beating around the bush!!
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The biggest thing about just saying "Hi!" to start is that scammers do this. If you do this in my inbox, you are a scammer to me. Sorry
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I am on a few discords where people keep coming into the help/advice/assistance rooms and asking if they can ask a question... Yes, that's what the channel's designed for. You don't need to ask if you can ask, just ask!
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I ignore/block those that just say "hi".
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Iâve learned to flat out ignore people who pop into my DMs with âHiâ.
My main reason, is most social media platforms will blur images sent by people youâve never interacted with. Iâve experienced people abusing this, and spamming me with gore after Iâve responded. Never again.
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THANK YOUUUUU. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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oh my god, if only i could broadcast this on all messaging platforms i'm on đ
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"Can i ask you something?" "You just did" "No i mean something else" "Sorry only one question per person"
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This gives me flashbacks of my PM on the previous project at work. Seeing "Hi" in Teams chat always gave me the "Whoo boy, what's about to explode in my face ..."
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Whenever I send a DM to anyone, it usually goes like "Hi there, sorry for the outta the blue message, but I wanted to ask..."
Makes for a simpler, easier time for everyone :3
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đ
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Its also sus as fuck cause scammers do this pattern all the time.
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I always hate when people do this just fuckin ask me lol
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I learned a French method, "Excusez-moi de vous dĂŠranger."
"Excuse me for disturbing you, but (question)?" I usually say 'Pardon' instead of 'Excuse', but both work.
It works very well, and is very polite.
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đ
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It's faster but isn't it also less polite? Just curious, not certain myself
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If you do the first to me you get no reply at all
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Some spot-on âHow to socialâ instructions! đĽ¸
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I love this post. Last time someone did the dont part I found out it was the same person who keeps badgering me to draw disney stuff for them. Really got my hopes up
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I also hate when someone does the âCan I ask you something?â I always assume itâs bad and raises my anxiety.
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OMG YES THIS! A THOUSAND TIMES THIS!
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The one on the left makes more sense in person because of whether the person has time or the ability to give an immediate answer. The one on the right makes more sense over text.
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As a person that takes too long to respond messages and a introvert, I find this offensive
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nohello.net is my personal go-to & in my discord bio for this exact reason
no hello
please don't say just hello in chat
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Seriously, jesus christ just start talking, don't waste time with "HI"
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You will also look less like a creepy stalker, pornbot, or scammer..
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đŁď¸đŁď¸đŁď¸
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Iâm going to be completely honest I say hello not because I have to but because of masking and trying to not be âweirdâ or âimpoliteâ. Idk. I guess I can see the practicality of it but I think there are bigger fish to fry
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Being social speedrun any%
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"Can I ask you something?"
You already did.
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This gives me customer email flashbacks. "Hi, I'd like to ask if I could amend some information." End of email. Grrrrr why are you making me pull it out of your nose oh my god seven more hours of this đŹ
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Nah I wanna keep playing chat footsie back and forth to ensure I have as much of your attention as possible because MY TIME is valuable and I need YOU to give me more of yours.
inflates you big and round
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My old boss used to do this kind of shit in a Friday and I had to be anxious all weekend wondering what it was about.
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Take tips from Inigo Montoya
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3 outcomes:
"What would you do with 3000$? (or similar) (Scammers)"
"Do you hate THE LOUD HOUSE? (Kiddos on DA)"
A legitimate fanart doubt or commission/trade chance
Still yeah, kids: Drop your doubts in the first note/message ya send. Know that we're busy and don't wanna wait too much
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If you DM me saying "Can I ask you a question?" or "I have a question", I very likely won't respond, I'll just wait until you ask it. If it's not important enough to ask, then it's not important enough to answer
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A lot of people arguing against this are forgetting to say:
âhiâ wait for a response âcan I make a counter argument?â wait for a response
Before making the replies theyâre making.
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In my Slack status for work I link to nohello.com which pretty much states all of this.
Still, many people don't do it.
I've often deliberately waited a long time before responding to them to make a point.
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I tried this. Still took a while.
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Jesus, yes, this. If you lead with âhiâ and nothing else youâre a bot. You do not need the other person to be live on the other end, and you are just wasting their time and attention.
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If you're worried about annoying someone, so you're pissing about and wasting their time, then you've already failed.
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I always reply with "Hi, how can I help you?" to get straight to the point
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Hi
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Saying nothing but "hi" in a message is diabolical and I assume nothing but darkness lives on the other side of that computer.
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Don't teach the account stealer bots and scrapers how to be better at it, what's wrong with you.
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In computer terms, this is TCP vs UDP
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The "Don't" example is usually a huge red flag that its a scammer.
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But what if I crave the feeling of breathless anticipation and want to draw out getting an answer for longer? What if I want to be left on the edge, heart pounding, breath catching in my throat as the answer awaits me? If I fear the eventual revelation that will turn wonder into simple fact?
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no hello
please don't say just hello in chat
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I feel like these are two different meaning. 1st feeks like a friend asking something personal and to make sure you aren't bothering them. 2nd feels more like a business inquiry
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Plus this is a pattern common with scams âHiâ âcan I ask a questionâ and then they say theyâre going to give you 1000$ or whatever
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iv seen a bunch of people considering us to be "stuck up" for wanting the interactions to be like this but it has nothing to do with that when majority of dms are f*ing bots n scams that STARTS like that you just kinda get tired of playing roulette with it
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I assume anyone doing the former is a scammer and they will catch a block!
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Last time I did something similar to the right, the artist yelled at me.
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I agree unless your question is just a dick pic. Then you should follow the first formula
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God i hate when I get that issue at work. Ive even told people in business its important to come right to the points you can get quick action. Yet this is still epidemic.
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Hi
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Also on Deviant Art at least that âhiâ or âhelloâ comment in Chat or Direct Messages is an opening move for some scam. So I ignore them
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okay proceeds to instead form an entire relationship for several months before asking the question
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Absolutely this. I follow this format when hiring artists too!
"Hey, just wondering if you are open for work? If so, here are all the details and Ill attach a ref right after this message : (insert com deets)
If not, thanks for your time and have the most fabulous day!"
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Plus you do not seem like a spam bot.
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nometa [dot] xyz. I always send this link to peeps who start convos like that lmao.
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I can't help but feel this is work place habit that's hard to kick.
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very difficult idea for some đ
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Hello
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people that ask if they can ask a question always pops a red flag in my head
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Some people need brain circulation supplements. (Me included)
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The reason people do this (and im one of those people) is because so many people seem so unapproachable. Unless you're already in their group of friends. A large number of people seems like they already don't want to be bothered, or any questions is beneath them. Its a question of caution.
