Scientists Discover Gene Responsible For Eating Whole Goddamn Bag Of Chips theonion.com/scienti...
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Top Skeets
Researchers Determine Coelacanth Faked Own Extinction To Escape Massive Gambling Debt theonion.com/researc...
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles theonion.com/trump-s...
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles
WASHINGTON—Despite the president’s sagging approval rating overall, a Gallup Poll released Tuesday confirmed that Donald Trump’s support remained overwhelmingly strong among working-class American pedophiles. “Even though his polling numbers among Americans who are not sexually attracted to children have hit a second-term low, the president’s approval rating is still an impressive 80% among child rapists […]
Left-Wing Group Too Disorganized For FBI Agents To Infiltrate theonion.com/left-wi...
Dog Named Murph Lives Up To Name