Had a wander around the web, looking for something concise on how one might feel when a loved one dies after a long time with dementia. Thought this (c/o griefline.co.uk) was the best. Maybe worth passing on to others if you know anyone in that situation - or you, like me, are facing it right now.
Sorry to hear you've suffered this. Its an awful disease mainly because we lose them over and over until that final loss.
That sums it up perfectly!
So sorry you’re facing this, Tim. Sending hugs.
💔😢
Thinking of your loss, the care of your loved one given and the difficulty of this journey. Sincere condolences.
💙🫂💙
So sorry. It's similar to when an alcoholic parent dies too - a long pre-grieving for the person lost many years before. I had those feelings when my Dad died.
So sorry for your loss Tim.
1/3..'What happens next is natural & perfectly normal' I lived far away from my mother whom I had to put in a high security care unit due to dementia. It was heartbreaking for me to assist my sister to do that! I would ring Mom & have a sort of conversation & flew to see her on occasion!..2/
Sorry to hear this, Tim. It’s good advice too
My condolences, Tim.
Our youngest daughter has a childhood friend who's mother has dementia - it started & 50 when Katie was only 12
10 yrs on now
What a cruel cruel disease
Thank you for sharing this Tim. All of us going through this need to hear these words.
Harsh times and sending you strength to get through. Certainly, you're not alone.
I am sorry. It's a very hard thing to have to endure. Best wishes to you 😔
Thank you. May their memory be a blessing. Not sure how long my Mum has but the Macmillan ad that talks about losing them many times over v much resonates.
I’m so sorry Tim. My father died a few years ago having had Parkinson’s - not quite the same but I imagine some of the feelings and challenges might be similar.
Thank you for posting this. It’s so helpful.
We should avoid assuming how another feels, particularly at a time of grief and the subsequent healing process. It’s rarely a neat linear process but rather a raw, complicated mixture of emotions with so much depending on the nature of the relationship.
I’m very sorry for your loss 😞 Take care of yourself.
I’m sorry.
My condolences to you and your family.
Condolences x
Sorry to hear of your loss, dementia is a horrible illness. A friends mum is very ill with dementia, and it is tragic for all x
I’m sorry, Tim, I wish you a long life
I have faced it - first wife. Msg or email me if you need any advice.
thoughts with you Tim. But also thanks for sharing
My condolences. For me focusing on the person my mum was before dementia helped enormously. It now how I remember her.
Sympathies to you. Sure your post will help other people.
Thanks Tim. 💔💔💔
Sorry to read this. It’s awful to go through but the release when it comes is a release for them so never feel bad about knowing it’s that for you too. And I’m sorry for what you’re going through.
Thank you.
I am so very sorry for your loss. 💙
Sorry for your loss - a friend of my dads said after he died - I missed him when he got dementia and I miss him even more after he died
I’m sorry for your loss, Tim.
Thanks, Tim.
So sorry for your loss
I am so very sorry, Tim. The loss of a mother is a unique loss: it changes the contours of the world permanently. It must be even more complex when it follows the long withdrawal of dementia.
It's good of you to share Griefline. All of us will need support like this one day. Thinking of you.
🫂all the nurturing and patience you gave to your loved one was practice for your own self care. Be kind and patient with yourself as you go through this process. My sympathies 🫂
I'm sorry for your loss; may you have time to deal with everything that you're feeling right now, so well summarised in that text
Sending my deepest condolences Tim
8 years ago this week. It’s a very tough time and you have my sympathy. There is the immediate focus on dealing with officialdom, arranging funeral, family etc which can delay some of the reflection. And unexpectedly you’ll find them in your thoughts (mum would love this). Courage.
Ah, Tim, sending love. Even if it's time, it's never easy.
I’m so sorry, Tim x
Sorry for your loss, Tim x
You're helping so many other people as you share your own loss with us; I hope this knowledge helps you. x
So sorry for your loss Tim and thanks for sharing. I think this has broad application when dealing with an elderly loved one with complex medical needs or a terminal illness. Best wishes.
Sorry for your loss loss. I can agree with this having lost my mother to dementia last year after 8 years of illness
So sorry to hear this Prof. All to the best to you and your loved ones
Anticipatory grief resonates. There was a point when the person had gone, but they were still physically alive. It is very difficult to explain to those around you.
Very sorry for your loss, Tim.
Difficult times Tim, stay strong.
Very sorry to hear that; my condolences Tim and I hope the memories of happier times past help you a little.
So sorry for your loss. Thought this could be of some help - www.hospiceuk.org/information-...
What should I say? It can be very difficult to know what to say or do when someone you know has lost someone close. We often want to offer support.
Thank you.
So sorry Tim - sending you all my best wishes.
My condolences. I know these feelings. We’ve been through it twice as a family and we’re in the foothills of a third now.
Thank you
Only just seen this Tim. Very sorry to hear that you have been through that experience. For my own part the end was met with deep sadness mixed with relief and then - very slowly - a sort of immense joy as the years of fog ebbed away and I once more remembered my mum again. In all her complexity.
My condolences, Tim.
Condolences. And thanks for sharing. V close to what I felt when my mum died after dementia earlier this year.
So sorry for your loss
Tim
I am so sorry to read that
The long time coming will have made it harder too I imagine
Nothing more I can say
Please take care
David
Very sorry. Both my parents died with dementia, some years apart. Personally, I never felt that they weren’t the person I knew and loved because of the disease.
Thanks for sharing this and sorry for your loss of your mum. There really is no right or wrong way to grieve, is there, and grief line understands that.
Sorry for your loss, dementia is hard.
Sad news of your loss Tim x
It is a hard journey witnessing your loved one leave you and the world over years before their end. @ottoenglish.bsky.social wrote some things in the process of losing his mother to dementia which might be of help 2017: thepinprickcom.wordpress.com/2017/09/21/y... 2020:
Hannah, my mother, who died last week after a long illness, loved fish and chips and she loved to travel. She loved France and tennis, cream teas, curries, chocolate and sherry. She loved to gossip…
Sorry your facing this incredibly difficult situation and thank you for the posting
I'm so sorry - was very different for me (in another country, so different flavour of guilt).
